Sniff test: When not to call 911

"Dear 911, I can smell gas!"
The firefighters rushed in, en masse.
To find that the leak,
Was not from a weak
Piping, but from a sow's ass!

:D

26/11/09: SYDNEY (AFP) – A flatulent pig sparked a gas emergency in southern Australia when a farmer mistook its odours for a leaking pipe, according to officials. Get the story here

Wanted: A sponsor for the Men in Blue

A Board member: "We have no clue
Why no one sought our men in blue."
Could it be that the price
Simply failed to cut ice
With the sponsors? "We'll have to review"!

24/11/09: It seems that not a single bid has come in for being the official sponsor for cricket Team India. What went wrong? Read about it here

Men to continue peeing outdoors to save the planet (women of course have to use the loo)

Sir, how come your garden's so lush?
The gardener replied, (with a blush).
I'm watering, you see,
The plants with my pee
Am relieved - there's now no need to flush!

Men peeing in the open/ outdoors, a familiar sight in India, has recently received a boost with the UK based charity, the National Trust urging menfolk to pee outdoors on 'pee bales' or compost heaps in order to save the planet. Women of course should continue to use a lavatory and flush (thereby contributing to global warming) as their pee is 'more acidic'. Get the story here

Vive la difference, I say!

When your bank asks you to prove your gender

Recently, SCB sent me a cheque book adding Mr. (instead of Ms.) before my name. When I called up their PhoneBanking to point out the error, an extremely cheerful, young voice at the other end of the call-center line asked me to drop into the nearest branch for 'correction'. "They would also need some proof", the helpful voice offered. Now surely, this one is just crying out loud for a Newsmerick :-D

"Hello PhoneBanking, please tell me why,
My new cheque book says I'm a guy?"
"Ma'am, sorry for the goof
Please drop in with proof
At our nearest branch - we'll rectify."

Some thoughts on the Balloon Boy story

"Our little boy has gone a-flying,"
The parents of Falcon said crying.
A world watched aghast,
The balloon flying past,
But then there were claims they were lying!

As TV shows pander to voyeurs,
And show contents become destroyers,
Of ethics, for fame,
Folks like these make a game,
Out of everything - Winners? Their lawyers!

If you haven't got enough of this story already, get the latest updates here

Obama's Nobel :The Inkspot story

Well everyone has had something to say about it. We have dissected it, debated it, explored the motives behind it and almost dug up Mr. Nobel himself to ask what he would have thought about it. In the midst of all this, our intrepid Inkspot appears to have dug into the recipient's heart and come up with the 'true story' of this year's Nobel Peace Prize. Enjoy!


Asked Inkspot, "Obama, pray tell
what made them give you the Nobel?"
Said the President, "Old boy,
Can't you see it's a ploy
To vanquish my peace, give me hell?"

Sexing up cricket

When I told them, "boys, get some action,"
Said Kirsten, with dissatisfaction,
 "I meant, practice cricket,
Not, go forth and stick it --
Am hurt by such vulgar reaction!"

Crickinfo India 25/09/09:  Gary Kirsten, India's coach, has said he was not involved in the preparing a controversial document that encouraged cricketers to have sex before matches.Get the story here

Further reads 1, 2 

Checkmate

A grandmaster, who had been slated,
To play, dozed off inebriated.
Though much did they shake him,
Yet no one could wake him,
So they had to declare him -- checkmated.

Reuters 04/09/09: A leading French chess player turned up drunk and dozed off after just 11 moves in an international tournament in Kolkata, losing the round on technical grounds, domestic media reported Friday. Get the details here